None of my so-called "homes" feels like home anymore.
It's like I'm stuck in between two lives, and right now I don't belong anywhere.
As I'm writing this it's one o' clock in the morning, but I can't seem to put my thoughts away for the night before I write this. About five months ago I moved to Stavanger (city in Norway) to study. I moved away from my village, family, friends, and everything I know, to a new city where I didn't know anyone at all. It sounded scary to me at first, but I was actually feeling positive. Getting to know new people, studying something I'm passionate about, and finally moving forward with my life. I also felt like it was time for me to leave the nest.
I moved into my dorm on a Sunday, and the welcome week started the next day, so I didn't really have time to take it all in. After a few weeks I started to feel homesick, even though I knew this was my new home now. And I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling kinda lonely as well. Not just in the beginning though, every once in a while I still feel the loneliness creep up on me. I mean, I do have a few friends here who I really enjoy hanging out with. But everyone's got their own life, you know? They have work, other friends, family and free time activities. And I don't. At least not yet.
Moving is so much more than just putting your stuff in boxes. You need to get new daily routines, and you have to learn to put your old ones away. It's definitely easy to fall back into old habits and routines when you go back "home" to visit your family. However, every time I visit my village I feel like I'm visiting my old life. I can't really describe it any better than that. It's like I know deep down inside that this place isn't a part of my life anymore, and that's a weird feeling. I've learned that a home is so much more than a place where your friends or family are. Ask yourself this: If you take away all the people you know there, does your home still feel like home?
Every time I go to London it feels like home to me. It doesn't matter who I'm there with, or if I'm there alone, it's home. I feel like I've gotten to know the city, and walking the streets of London just feels so natural. As if I'm where I'm supposed to be, and nothing feels better than that. The same goes for Bergen. It feels like my city, my home, even though I didn't grow up there. I hope I'll feel the same way about Stavanger one day.
While writing this blog post I've realised that I need to challenge myself more. Maybe I should start looking for a job, or find an activity to fill up my free time? Or go to more parties? It's a bit out of my comfort sone, but chances are that it will have a positive outcome if I put myself out there.
It's not that I'm not happy, because in so many ways I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm just a little lost, and finding my way is gonna take more time than I expected.
It's like I'm stuck in between two lives, and right now I don't belong anywhere.
As I'm writing this it's one o' clock in the morning, but I can't seem to put my thoughts away for the night before I write this. About five months ago I moved to Stavanger (city in Norway) to study. I moved away from my village, family, friends, and everything I know, to a new city where I didn't know anyone at all. It sounded scary to me at first, but I was actually feeling positive. Getting to know new people, studying something I'm passionate about, and finally moving forward with my life. I also felt like it was time for me to leave the nest.
I moved into my dorm on a Sunday, and the welcome week started the next day, so I didn't really have time to take it all in. After a few weeks I started to feel homesick, even though I knew this was my new home now. And I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling kinda lonely as well. Not just in the beginning though, every once in a while I still feel the loneliness creep up on me. I mean, I do have a few friends here who I really enjoy hanging out with. But everyone's got their own life, you know? They have work, other friends, family and free time activities. And I don't. At least not yet.
Moving is so much more than just putting your stuff in boxes. You need to get new daily routines, and you have to learn to put your old ones away. It's definitely easy to fall back into old habits and routines when you go back "home" to visit your family. However, every time I visit my village I feel like I'm visiting my old life. I can't really describe it any better than that. It's like I know deep down inside that this place isn't a part of my life anymore, and that's a weird feeling. I've learned that a home is so much more than a place where your friends or family are. Ask yourself this: If you take away all the people you know there, does your home still feel like home?
Every time I go to London it feels like home to me. It doesn't matter who I'm there with, or if I'm there alone, it's home. I feel like I've gotten to know the city, and walking the streets of London just feels so natural. As if I'm where I'm supposed to be, and nothing feels better than that. The same goes for Bergen. It feels like my city, my home, even though I didn't grow up there. I hope I'll feel the same way about Stavanger one day.
While writing this blog post I've realised that I need to challenge myself more. Maybe I should start looking for a job, or find an activity to fill up my free time? Or go to more parties? It's a bit out of my comfort sone, but chances are that it will have a positive outcome if I put myself out there.
beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much :)
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